More or less, I've just been trying to hone in on some things; things that I think everyone is trying to figure out, and some people spend their whole lives in pursuit of. What makes me happy? What are my talents? What is the difference between a talent and an interest? Where do I see myself in five years? Ten years? Twenty years? What do I really want to do with my life? What am I supposed to do with my life?
Like I said, I know everyone asks themselves these questions. And it's not like this is the first time these things have occurred to me. If that were the case, I might be in pretty bad shape. No- I think I've always had a general idea of how I see my life playing out: get married, have some kids, do some cool stuff.
I've done the first thing and I'm pretty sure the second thing will eventually come, but what kind of "cool stuff" do I want to do exactly? That's kind of a funny question. When I first started college, I thought that cool stuff would be journalism. Then I got more specific and thought it would be broadcast journalism. Then, about three credits away from graduation I realized that I actually wanted to have a life, and maybe I could have been good at being a news anchor, but I don't really think that would have been conducive the other priorities in my life.
So then I got married and moved down here and I guess I've never really definitively came back to that question. No, broadcasting was not my calling. But I think in the excitement of being a newlywed and living somewhere brand new and totally fun, I was just happy to have a job and be living the dream.
And I think that's how that season of my life was supposed to go. But I feel a transition coming on. I've been dabbling in lots of things. When I first moved down here, I thought I wanted to do weddings. And then I saw two very good friends start their wedding coordination and design business from scratch. They're excellent at it and their success is really amazing. But seeing all of their behind the scenes action makes me realize the wedding industry is not for me. I don't really have the passion for it that they do, and I'm glad I've had the opportunity to learn that about myself.
So after that idea was put to rest, I came across some downtime at work which gave way to another budding interest: graphic design. I learned some basic skills via shadowing a designer at work who deals with book covers and I just kind of went with it. I even made some logos for my sister-in-law's new business and one for another friend's re-branding. That was really cool. And I really loved it. And I still do love it. But I don't have a drive to make it a career.
And so at that point I was feeling kinda down. I have all of these ideas for my life. I know I want to do something creative. That's what I'm good at and that's what I'm passionate about. But what?? What can I do that engages creativity + entrepreneurialism + something that can eventually be sustainable? I mean at this point, I don't know if it's in the cards to really go back to school, and even if I did, for what?? I just felt like I had a brush in every can of paint, metaphorically speaking, and I didn't really know how I could reconcile all of those colors to paint something that actually works.
I had kind of thrown my hands up and just decided it was my doom to be creative in my personal life but never in my professional life.
And then I found it. I was doing my regular perusal of blogs and I stumbled across some interior design blogs. I scrolled through, read a few posts, thought they were cool. Obviously, this is not the first time I've seen this type of blog, nor the first time I've thought of interior design in a regular-life context. I'm pretty much in a constant state of considering what I would like to with any given area of our house at any given time. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a store or flipping through a magazine and I tell Brendan "I love this! Maybe not for our house, but I love it." Hmmm.
With a new perspective on a passion that can really be traced back to the days me and one of my best friends in the whole world sat on the picnic table in my backyard looking through Speigel catalogues, picking out furnishings and accessories for our future houses, I started considering interior design as a career, not just as something I'm good at, or something I enjoy.
So I read a little bit more. I thought a lot more. What do I need to do? School? Experience?Portfolio? How to I get started? How can I learn what I need to learn and put to use what I already can do? How do I market myself? Should I start off on my own or as part of a firm? How am I ever going to learn AutoCAD???
I read more. I researched some classes. I really started praying about whether or not this was the right thing to pursue.
What I did not do was go blabbing immediately about it. I feel like I do that a lot. I get really excited and speak too soon. People never end up taking me seriously. So I kept researching and reading and picking people's brains and stalking other designer's blogs trying to learn everything and anything I can from them.
And now I'm committed. I'm taking steps to develop my talents and learn all I can. There are still a ton of unanswered questions and blanks that need filling in, but I really believe that this is what I should be doing. It's a risk and there's a lot of uncertainty, but I know that God gives everyone different passions for a reason- and this is mine. It's not my only passion for sure, but it's one I hope to put to good work. In a year's time, I would love to be able to look back on this post and see how far I've come! And until then, I'll definitely keep you posted.
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